Generosity Embodied

Generosity is a person.  Have you considered that each night as you sleep and every day when you're away from your family there are men and women who are trained and stand ready to lay down their lives for you and those you love?  When Police, Firefighters, Emergency Medical Technicians, and Federal agents go to work, they recognize that today could be the day they are called to make the ultimate act of service for someone they do not likely know.

What if getting ready for your day included mentally preparing yourself that you may die today in fulfillment of your job?   The stress that First Responders encounter in the normal course of their work takes its toll.  Not only do First Responders regularly sacrifice their health and well-being on behalf of public safety, but they are subjected to professional stressors that can be overpowering to them and their families, ultimately setting them up for dysfunction and failure. The end results are staggering…

Did you know?

	Divorce rates at some Departments are as high as 84%
	1 out of 4 Responders struggle with Alcoholism
	10%-30%of Responders suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
	Responders are twice as likely to die from Suicide, than in the Line of Duty
	The life expectancy of Responders is 15 years less than the general population

I just had the pleasure of meeting Trey Doty Executive Vice President at Responder Life.  Trey shared with me about the challenges that First Responders face and how Responder Life helps these men and women engage life's ultimate questions.  As a faith-based organization Responder Life exists that every First Responder and their Family be given the opportunity to respond to the most important call of their life.

This month a memorial was conducted in Portland, Oregon that recognizes the service and sacrifice of U.S. law enforcement. The annual commemoration was established by a joint resolution of Congress in 1962.

Below is a list of the fallen Portland officers honored during the memorial.

• Thomas G. O’Connor - August 29, 1867 - Gunshot
• Charles F. Schoppe - June 13, 1874 - Gunshot
• Samuel S. Young - September 23, 1908 - Gunshot
• Albert W. Moe - January 9, 1914 - Gunshot
• James R. White - November 17, 1914 - Directing traffic
• Ralph H. Stahl - January 27, 1915 - Gunshot
• James C. Gill - November 30, 1915 - Gunshot
• John J. McCarthy - July 21, 1916 - Vehicle accident
• Glenn Litzenberg - April 19, 1918 - Motorcycle accident
• Jerome Palmer - November 17, 1920 - Gunshot
• James Wright - 1921 - Pneumonia
• Robert E. Drake - October 11, 1930 - Fall from building
• Charles M. White - June 30, 1934 - Struggle during arrest
• Phillip R. Johnson - May 9, 1941 - Gunshot
• Charles E. Vincent - March 22, 1942 - Directing traffic
• James A. Hines - November 4, 1945 - Directing traffic
• Gilbert Horton - December 23, 1946 - Heart attack
• Roy E. Mizner - February 18, 1956 - Vehicle accident
• Vernon J. Stroeder - February 18, 1956 - Vehicle accident
• Roger L. Davies - April 18, 1961 - Motorcycle accident
• Robert P. Murray - May 2, 1962 - Motorcycle accident
• Robert R. Ferron, Jr. - May 23, 1964 - Vehicle accident
• Stephen M. Owens - September 23, 1973 - Vehicle accident
• Dennis A. Darden - August 9, 1974 - Gunshot
• David W. Crowther - December 27, 1979 - Gunshot
• Stanley D. Pounds - July 18, 1984 - Vehicle accident
• Thomas L. Jefferies - July 21, 1997 - Gunshot
• Colleen A. Waibel - January 27, 1998 - Gunshot
• Kirk R. Huffstetler - May 26, 2002 - Vehicle accident

The next time I get pulled over for a ticket (which I'll likely have earned), rather than thinking about the cost of the ticket, I'll be considering the cost which that officer pays to keep those I love safe.

Question:  What would it look like if you approached your work with the level of commitment that first responders do theirs?

Generosity's Baby Steps 2.0

Last month I wrote about Generosity's Baby Steps.  Specifically I shared that if we begin with thankfulness, and look around us to see needs we could help meet, we will grow in generosity.

I'd like to recommend two additional steps toward generosity balance:


1.  Give from your abundance. Maybe you have an abundance of time, or perhaps you have been entrusted with more wealth than you need.  What will you do with it?  Will you spend the excess on yourself?  Will you watch for others in need and give to them?  Will you grow through the process of giving?

 

We are prone to live careful and calculated lives, never risking too much, rarely asking for help.  The problem is there is no life in that kind of living.  The journey of life is most full when we are most free.  Free from fear of loss, free from fear of failure, and free from slavery to our possessions.  Generosity is the only antidote for greed.  Consider the freedom that might be possible for you through a generous life.
 

2.  Receive in your need.  One of the best ways to understand generosity is to receive from others in your time of need.  Needs are a sign of life and growth.  We all have them.  When we are willing to share our needs with others, we actually engage in a greater depth of relationship.  When someone wants to give you a gift the right response is to say thank you and to receive the gift with gratitude.  When we do, we grow to understand the power of a gift to transform a life, and we can be inspired to give to others.

Let me encourage you to be transparent about areas where you have a need.  Perhaps you need help with putting a new roof on your house.  Ask for help.  Perhaps you need help to put food on the table this month.  Share the need with others who may be able to help.

These steps are super simple to understand, but can be difficult to practice. 

Question: How will you practice giving and receiving today?

Dignity Thief

Recently I was approached by an old man with a gray beard who asked me if I could spare some change.  We were in the middle of a food court in a large shopping mall.  I said "No, I'm sorry I can't help you".

Then the man walked slowly and over to another person nearby.  She was reading a book and had earphones on.  The slender old man asked her if she could spare some change.   

When he did, she immediately barked (and that is a kind description) "NO, GET OUT OF HERE"!

Reinhardt Søbye "The Old Beggar"

The old man, who was downcast when he walked up to here shrunk a few more inches. His shoulders seemed to slump below his chest, his head bowed low like a dog caught begging at the table and his eyes fell to his feet as he shuffled away.

It took me a minute to process what had just happened.  Perhaps she was concerned for her safety.  But it was a very public place, with lots of people and security around.  If there was going to be a fight, she looked like she could easily take the old man. No, she was not afraid.

She was mad.  I don't know why she was so angry that he had asked.  Maybe it was because he had asked her for help repeatedly.  Maybe she had a father who had run to the streets to live off of others.  Maybe she was a self-appointed mall officer to drive away needy people.  I don't know.

What I do know is that she robbed the old man of his dignity that day.  Instead of choosing to not give, she chose to take something from him.

Generosity brings joy when it permeates our life.  I'd like more generosity to be present throughout my day as I drive in my car, as I talk with my spouse, and as I meet strangers.

Question: Where could you be 5% more generous?

Weighing our Motives

For the last eleven years I've worked with thousands of people encouraging them to live a life of generosity.  Weighing our own inner motivations about giving calls for discernment. Here are some of my observations from meeting with people regarding their giving.

Three Valid Reasons to Avoid Making a Gift:

When the gift would be harmful to those we have a responsibility to provide for
If you often give to others of your time or money, but neglect to spend time with or provide for your own family, something is wrong. Check your motivation, perhaps "over-giving" may be more about you than those you are trying to help.


When the gift is likely to be squandered
Some people simply don't have a track record of stewarding well what they've already been given.  Look for signs of faithfulness such as demonstrated impact of past gifts, growth in the life of the person or organization, and an attitude of gratitude. Sometimes a gift (particularly of cash) could actually be more harmful to a person than helpful.  To give $5 to the man begging at an intersection who smokes like a chimney between lights and is dying of lung cancer is not a gift.

When the gift is about you
We can be prone to give in order to feel better about ourselves.  It's as natural to give to feel better as it is to go shopping to feel better.  When our own happiness is our motivation for giving we fail to see the blessing for the recipient and can miss out on the greatest joy of making a gift.


Three Excuses We Make To Avoid Making a Gift:

"I'm not a wealthy person."
Generosity is a posture, an attitude, an openness to life.  Everyone can give in some way and if you give, you will find more opportunities and resources to give.  It's never about how little you have, its always about what you do with what you have.  If you're concerned that if you give you'll have less, consider what you may stand to gain by being a generous person.

"People could misuse my gift."
This is always a possibility and at times it's highly likely.  Weigh the risks and see if they are real or imagined. If you tend to find yourself worrying about people misusing your gifts to the point that you rarely give, remember that your responsibility is to be a good steward, and when you give, the stewardship responsibility transfers to the recipient.




"I'm just not a generous person"
This gets at our identity.  The fact is that all people carry the image of God who is creatively, abundantly, exceedingly generous.  If you're not a generous person, you will likely be dissatisfied with many aspects of life because you are not living out of your true identity.

Did you notice how close the excuses are to valid reasons for not giving?  These matters call for real discernment and we are not very good at judging our own motives.  I find real help through prayer, reading the scriptures, and talking with other people about my stewardship decisions (particularly my wife).

Question: How do you decide when to give?  Is there a good question you ask yourself or others?

Accounting for Evil

In 2003 I was taking accounting classes at a college in Portland, Oregon.  The professor who had been an accountant for most of his life was disturbed by the ethical cesspool left by people responsible for the finances at companies like Enron and Global Crossing.  So, one day, the teacher devoted a few minutes of class time to the subject of ethics in accounting.

The professor asked the accounting class for a show of hands, 

"How many of you would steal from your future employer

if you knew you would never get caught"?

Well over half of the class of fifty students raised their hands.  I was stunned.  The professor, who looked stunned also, asked the students to look around the room.  Then he began to explain why people who embezzle usually think they won't be caught, but often are.

The professor looked more haggard at the end of that evening than he usually did.  A man who had given much of his life to studying the best practices of accounting was now trying to teach a generation who had been indoctrinated for nearly twenty years that greed is the shortcut to self-gratification.  He may have been teaching future accountants the rules that they would someday bend and break.

I've thought about that moment quite a bit over the last decade.  I wonder how many of those students went on to become accountants and how many are watching for the moment when no one is looking.  Of course many accounts do their job with excellence day in and day out. Accountants are simply people like you and I who have to process ethical choices regularly.

Generous people look for opportunities to give. Greedy people look for opportunities to take.  Who do you suppose lives the richer life?

Last week, I found a debit card laying in the middle of a restaurant parking lot.  I asked the restaurant manager if someone had reported a lost card and they said no.  I called the bank phone number on the back of the card.  The clerk cancelled the card and thanked me several times saying that most people would try to use the card.  I got the sense that the norm was for people to steal using the card rather than to return it.  What would you do?

Question: Is there a moment you were tempted to take but choose generosity instead? I'd love to hear about it.

Generous Posture

In the last few weeks I've met with a number of people who have been very generous to me.  Each of them approaches life with a generous posture.  They are leaning into life's conversation, listening for their cue, the chance to be generous in sharing the gifts they've been given with another in need of those gifts. 

Generous people ask how they can serve you. Then, if they are able, they help.

Good questions generous people have asked me:

• How can I serve you?
• How can I be praying for you?
• What can I do for you?
• Are you carrying a burden I can help you shoulder?

It's difficult to express fully the weight that is lifted off my shoulders when I feel that someone is pulling for me.  It brings a smile to my face, and thanks to my heart.  Challenges ahead seem less daunting and hope clears away the fog of doubt. When generous people lean into our lives, we remember that we're not alone.

Do you have a generous posture?  Do you sink into life as if it's a couch, lost in your own world of needs and wants? Would you be a person who leans on the edge of your seat looking for the opportunity to bring the best of your life forward to bless another? Generosity takes practice.  Why not practice a generous posture today?

Question: When was the last time you approached another person with a generous posture?  I'd love to hear about it.  Simply leave me a comment below.

"Married Dress" Memories

Last night our 'almost' three-year-old daughter Selah wanted to put on her "married dress". This has become a regular occurrence since last summer when she was the flower girl in my sister-in-law's wedding.

Selah finds someone in the house to help her put on her white satin dress, tie the bow in the back, and then she parades around the house like a princess to find her husband to be. She usually ropes her older brother Josiah into getting "married". 

Last night at the very moment she was looking for a groom, she saw me from down the hall, and our eyes locked as she smiled. Within seconds she was there with me and we danced a little. Then, with her mother narrating the steps, I got down on one knee and looked her in the eyes. I took off my wedding ring and placed it on her pointer finger. At this point, the narrator (my own beautiful bride, Rachel), said that the next step was to give each other a hug. It's a moment this Father will not soon forget.

I pray that memories like this one always remind her that she is loved by God, she is precious to me, and that she is worthy of love from the man she will one day put on a "married dress" for.

I want her to trust that God not only sees her as of great worth, but that he sees all people this way. As she values people rightly, I pray that she will be generous toward them, and through such generosity I hope she will begin to understand more fully God's relentless, overflowing, love for her. May generosity mark the generations of my family long after my time.

"I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be blessed."

Psalm 37:25-26

Question:  How are you encouraging those you love to be generous? Please leave a comment below. I'd love to hear from you.